"To the world you may be one person...but to one person you may be the world..."

About Me

I grew up in a village of 500 people and now live in a beach town of 10 000. Wife to Jeff, Mama to Makenna and Jack. This is my place to share what's up with us, and the place where I sometimes need to pour my heart out about the not so sunshiney moments. This is my happy place. Thanks for stopping by :) Copyright 2012 by Melissa Wormington, that no part of this blog may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, without permission from the publisher.
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The Wormingtons

The Wormingtons
Jeff, Makenna, Jack and Melissa. Spring 2012. Photo credit: Tricia Denomme/Hope Photography

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Stream of Consciousness: Negativity

I think it's time for a "stream of consciousness" post.  Do you know what that is?  Wikipedia defines it as: "a narrative device used in literature "to depict the multitudinous thoughts and feelings which pass through the mind. Another phrase for it is 'interior monologue"

Basically, there are a few different trains of thought running through my mind lately, and I think it's time I let them out.  I don't have a plan for this post, so I apologize if it doesn't make a lot of sense, it's just one of those times I am writing for me.  

Anyone who knows me well knows I am a social media addict.  Facebook, then pinterest, then twitter.  Twitter not so much though.  I make no apologies for spending a great deal of time on social media.  I have learned plenty, helped others, won contests, gotten great deals and bought and sold many things using facebook, with great success. I also strongly believe if you want to reach people, especially young people, you have to meet them where they are.  Like it or not, the majority of people, especially younger people, are on social media. 

But something I have noticed lately, is the amount of negativity people willingly put out into cyberspace.  why?  Why are people doing that?  Complaints about everything under the sun, everyone under the sun, and more, abound on facebook.  Not so much on twiitter, thankfully.  

I like quotes and motivational sayings.  There are a plethora of them referencing themes like "you get out of the universe what you put into it".  I often wonder if all of these negative posters realize that what they are writing in the heat of the moment is directly influencing what their 146 or 687 online friends think about their character and personality.  Often times we do see our online friends in person, and as we are talking to them are remembering their various status updates, rants, raves, etc.  It forms our opinions of them without them even realizing this.  

For example, I belong to various facebook groups and watch as numerous arguments unfold on them on a daily basis.  People can type a lot of smack from behind a keyboard.  One of the worst I've seen is from a local business owner whose personal rants and raves are so extreme I have vowed to never ever ever give that business a dime of my money.  Ever.   Do they realize the effect they are having on people?  Do they care?  

I know I am a frequent status updater.  I share a lot about what's going on in my world quite frequently.  I am pretty much an open book in many ways and I don't apologize for that.  I am who I am and am comfortable with who I am.  But believe me, there is a ton of stuff I don't post on facebook on a daily basis.  Negative stuff that once out there can't be taken back. Tempting as it is, I don't post it because it isn't appropriate for the world to know or read. Of course, most people are the same.  But not all.  I think some people treat their status updates as little mini blogs about their lives.  But when they are posting so much negativity so often - whether it be on their status updates or in different groups they belong to, do they even realize who all is reading it?   Is that what they want people associating with them?  Forming their opinions about them on?  Yes, people should get to know others really well before they form opinions....but in reality that's not what happens most of the time.  

I think of stories I know about.  Like the local resident blogging with such a positive attitude about her own brain tumour and fight with mortality.  Or the local resident who with two kids 6 and under is facing a different, equally serious cancer and fight with her own mortality, while emitting nothing but positive vibes to all those around her.   Or the child I know of who is graduating grade 8 this week, after losing both her dad and grandfather to horrible deaths in the past few years.  Or the other graduating student I watched online today who fought her way back after being hit by a truck after she got off a bus a year ago.  Or the friend in Alberta who lost the school she teaches at to "the flood".  Or other friends in Labrador who watch helplessly as forest fires inch closer to their home.  

None of these people, before all this happened to them, posted negativity throughout social media.  Now that they have every reason to, more than most of us do, they still don't.  Why?  

Because they know that life is too short.  Too precious.  

This was not meant to be all about posting negatively on facebook. That's just where I see a lot of it.  This was meant to be about negativity in general and why people think, act and are that way so much.  

The finding the down side to everything.  The negative spin.  The glass half empty.  The "yeah, but"  The pissing matches.  The one up-ing.  The talking behind backs.The whispers.  The gossip.  

I don't know.  

Life is hard enough as it is.  Why focus on all that is wrong? Why not spend your time here  looking for what's right? Why not just focus on your own life?

There are many things in my life I wish didn't happen, weren't happening and won't happen.  But they did, they are and they will.  It is what it is.  In some cases I have tried to change things or make amends to no avail.  In other cases I have no control.

Instead of focusing on all that went wrong or beating myself up, I want to be kind to my spirit.  I want to let it go.  I want to spend my time here giving energy to and loving the people who love me instead of worrying, obsessing or being angry about the people who don't.  

 I have a husband that truly loves me for me.  Enough said.  I love him.  I have a few friends that I believe are my soul sisters. I love them.  I have 2 children who believe I I have magic powers that can fix anything that comes their way.  I love them.  I have an extended family that knows the meaning of family.   I love them.  I can sit outside and feel the sunshine on my face.  I can take my kids to the park, to the beach, to the zoo, to different countries.  I can walk my dog for miles in silence.  I can write about my feelings, I can be a part of greater goods, I can be a listening ear, a helping hand, a knowing look.  

I have a good life.  There are things that could be better.  But in so many ways it could be so much worse.  I am who I am and I like who I am. 

I wish people could be less negative and pay more attention to what's good.   Stop cutting others down.  Stop trying to one up.  Stop the pissing match.  When my final days come, I want them to say that I was a positive person.  Not just online, but in real life.  That I lived my life and loved my life and was a better person because of the people in my life.

"Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others"
  --H Jackson Brown Jr.


frannie_d said...

Well said Melissa!