7 years...

Note: Our anniversary was yesterday, August 2...I just didn't have a chance to post this yesterday...


Dear Jeff

Happy Anniversary! 7 years today. A lot is said about the 7th year of marriage; There’s “The seven year itch’. “The seventh year is the hardest”. “A lot of people don’t make it to the 7th anniversary, or don’t make it through the seventh year”.

I think we have had tougher years than this one. And really, this summer marks our 12th year together. Hard to believe I’m old enough to have been with someone for 12 years.

Here we are, 7 years married, and 2 children later, and I think we’re doing great. I think with each year we have gotten better together. We have both grown up a lot in the last 7 years…you don’t do some of the things you used to, and I have learned to live with and accept some of the things you do still do. You respect what are “dealbreakers” for me, and I respect what you need to do to still feel like you are your own person, not just somebody’s husband, somebody’s daddy or “the guy that brings home the money to pay the bills”. You need to be your own person and do your own thing, away from me and our kids, just as much as I do, to feel like you are still you. And I want you to be able to do that, because I never want you to stop being you. I always want you to be that guy who won my heart 12 years ago. It’s tougher now, when you have to balance that with responsibilities, priorities, bills, commitments, and all the other stuff that grown ups have to do, but we have both come a long way in those areas, and are still always working on it. Just like we are working on so many other things. But we are working together, facing everything life throws us together, and that’s what it’s all about. When you stop working at it, when you start living too much of your own life, without regard for your spouse’s wants and needs, that’s when you are in trouble.
Thankfully, that’s not us. I am proud of our marriage, and how far we have come together in the last 7 years. There were a few people who never thought we’d make it this far and I am quite happy to have proven them wrong. And there are others who stood beside us and knew how committed to each other we were, that we had that “something” from the moment we first got together, and those people are still very much a part of our lives.

We are working at creating a great life of our own for our family here in Goderich, away from where we grew up, away from our families, away from everything and everyone we grew up with. When we first moved here 8 years ago it was just you and I, feeling like the new kids in school, and here we are today, having come such a long way. We have great, great friends, we have established ourselves professionally, and our kids love their lives here. We did that ourselves, because of who we are – not because of our last name or where our parents’ work or the area of town we grew up in – we were the new kids, and I think we have done okay for ourselves here. Your friends you have made here have been wonderful to me, and my friends have enjoyed getting to know you. It’s a great feeling to know that this life we are making here is our life, that we have made ourselves. I also think that maybe moving here and making this new life, away from where we grew up, has contributed to the success of our marriage.

From the day we first started dating you made it clear that you wanted to be a Daddy someday and not all women are as lucky as I am to have such an involved, dedicated, hands on, equal parent who feels the same way about things as I do, who shares the same parenting philosophies, who “gets it”. You are amazing with those kids, oftentimes I think you are better at this whole parenting thing than I am. From the moment you learned each of them were on their way they have been at the top of your priority list. The days each of them were born, and the processes involved in bringing them into this world, speak volumes and volumes about the kind of man you are. I will always be your biggest cheerleader, your support system and your conscience. You will always be my rock, my secret keeper and my greatest challenge (just like we said in our vows). I will always Thank God for my Country Boy…even if that “country boy” doesn’t come out as often as he used to.

I could not live this life without you, I could not do this every day with out you. Thank you for coming home to me every night, and waking up beside me every morning.
I may have to share every one of our wedding anniversaries for the next many years with the guys from the Goderich Fire Department, but I am learning to accept it and I will try not to complain, because they (and you) do cook me breakfast and I do get a Steak Dinner out of it each year.

You have seen me through 2 long pregnancies, births and post partum periods, one of which I handled much better than the other, and you are still here. You have seen me through 3 parental breakups, showing nothing but tact, respect and class, while being my one sure thing in life. You were and are a rock for both me and for Mike, and you are still here. You have seen me through the deaths of loved ones, and are still here. You have defended me, sided with me, and risked your relationships with others, for me...and you are still here. You have guided me through some very tough times, some very dark days...and you are still here. I couldn't possibly put into words what that means to me, how important it is to me to know that above all else, despite all else and no matter what else...you'll still be here.

Thank you for the millions of little things – I couldn’t possibly write them all here but it’s those little things that keep us together – letting me sleep in, bringing me a surprise cappuccino, cooking dinner at the end of a long day, holding your tongue when I have been on the phone for 3 hrs, cleaning up puke, taking the kids outside to play, coming home when I want to go home, reading books you would rather not, bathing the kids, remembering to put sunscreen on them, and always, always, putting our kids first, defending them, understanding them, respecting them and “getting” them. And reminding people who need to be reminded every now and then how special they are, and how lucky we are to have them.

I truly truly look forward to each day with you. I couldn’t do any of it without you. I love you.

Xoxo.

PS - To celebrate, last night I made this brie and we had it with various crackers. I found it in my recipe binder and am positive it is from the Kraft magazine, but I can't find it on their website. Very very yummy!

Oh and we ate it while watching Dirty Jobs. Yep. all about balancing his needs with mine. ;)