Confessions...

They say that the first step is "admitting that you have a problem". Or that "admitting it is half the battle" when referring to addictions. No matter if it is drinking, drugs, gambling or something else, the first thing you need to do it ADMIT that you have a problem.

So, here goes...

"Hello, my name is Melissa and I...am addicted...

to Facebook.

Yes. i am Facehooked".

It started innocently enough. In fact a few of my friends will remember me being vehemently opposed to joining facebook. It was for highschool kids.
Then, one of my friends told me I was pretty much the only friend she had who wasn't on facebook. Soon after that, one of my elementary school friends saw a picture of me that someone else had posted, and sent me an email which said "_______wants to connect with you on facebook".

And that's when I joined. Because I was interested in reconnecting with that friend.

That was around 3 years ago I think. At first, I was confused and overwhelmed by it all and it seemed just as I was getting comfortable, they would change all the formatting and I was lost again. But I couldn't "quit"... couldn't "give it up"...I worked my way through the changes and adapted.

Like all addicts, I don't really know exactly when I became hooked, it just happened over time.

Soon I was doing the majority of my correspondance through facebook and found my email account to be a bit of a pain. Now, I only open my email account once every few days. I love looking at pictures my friends and family post on facebook and finding out about engagements, pregnancies, births, and all kinds of other news in real time, pretty much as it happens. While doing all of that I am also having real time "chats" with friends and family members, which saves me on long distance phone charges, and allows me to talk to more than one person at once if I choose to. I have heard from and reconnected with long lost friends I never would have found otherwise. Almost every cheesecake I have sold has been because of facebook. I have sold and purchased many household and childrens items thanks to facebook. I have become a fan of various businesses on facebook, which has increased my knowledge and made me more aware about many issues that matter to me.
I book student babysitters through facebook. I chat with people both personally and professionally through facebook much more often than through email.

If there is anything I want to know, i can find out on facebook.

Then, I started " thinking" in facebook.

"Melissa Wormington is tired".
"Melissa Wormington is excited for tonight".
"Melissa Wormington cannot wait for 5pm"
"Melissa Wormington is growing potatoes in her compost bin".

Something will happen and I will immediately think about how to work it into my facebook status. This is when you know you have a problem.

My mom is on facebook. Jeff's 88 year old grandfather is on facebook. I WISH my grandmother was on facebook, so i could post pics of various plants in my flowerbeds and she could instantly tell me whether or not they were weeds, or what they were called, or if I could split them now.

Now, I will say, in my defense, that I do not play Farmville, or Fishville, or Mafia wars, or Family Fued, or ANY of that stuff because i know better than to allow myself to get sucked into any of that. I spend enough time looking at pictures, checking out the classified sites, reading other people's blogs (which I have found through facebook), and chatting with friends.

Facebook has seamlessly woven itself into my daily routine. I check it while I have breakfast. before i leave for work. before i go to bed. when i am at other people's homes. Most days I have it open all day and just come back and forth to it as I go about my business. During the recent 2 hour season finale of Grey's Anatomy I had my laptop open to facebook the entire time and shared with many facebook friends the shock and awe unfolding on screen .
My husband just shook his head.
He is quick to tell anyone and everyone that I am addicted. And I am.

Many conversations with friends and family refer to something seen or read on facebook

"did you see ___________'s status this morning?"
"Yeah, i heard that, I read it on facebook"
"Check out my Summer 2010 album - you have to see this picture"
"What did you mean when you wrote _________?"
"It said on facebook that it was cancelled for tonight".

Facebook has taken over my world.

But the other thing about addicts, is that they won't change until they are ready to.
And I must confess, I'm not ready to. I don't want to change. I can admit that I am addicted. But i don't want to do anything about it.

Baby steps right?