I am a mama who loves being a mama. Whose life would be very empty without the two little people who call me mama. I am equally grateful for both of them and do not favour one over the other.
Having said that, this post will be about my son.
Jack is now 5. From the moment I knew he was on his way, I knew I was in trouble. I was sicker than I was with my first pregnancy. I was exhausted all the time. I had no interest in eating anything healthy (something I had done so well at during pregnancy number 1) and only craved fried foods and foods high in fat and salt. Oh, and beer. I craved beer. And I don't even like beer that much.
I craved bad foods. And for the most part, I gave into those cravings. Except for the beer.
My face was a mess of pimples. Also different from the first pregnancy. My intestinal system was sluggish. Also different. Perhaps both of these were a result from the above cravings.
Then the day he decided to join this world was the day of the worst snowstorm of the year. This was another sign to me that this baby was going to be different than the first one, who arrived on a beautiful late summer morning.
No, this second baby came screaming into the world during an evening snowstorm so bad his midwife wasn't sure she would make it to the birth. This baby's maternal grandfather was unreachable for several hours after its birth because he was fighting a barn fire in a snowstorm and then later got his own personal vehicle stuck in the snow and had to be pulled out, further delaying the relay of the news to him.
That I had delivered a son.
A boy with both Wormington and Noble genetics.
A little Jeff, little Kevin and little Michael, all rolled into one eight pound package, with influences of Roy, Robin and Ken thrown in for good measure.
Yes, that's when it was finally confirmed exactly what I was in for.
That baby and I did not get along for the first few months. His genetic dispositon proved accurate. He had colic. He only wanted Mommy. Except he didn't really want Mommy either. He ate. All.the.time. and still was not satisfied. He caught his first cold at 5 weeks of age and it lasted a month. He had infant asthma and strongly resisted the ventolin treatments and chest X Rays at the hospital. Even as a baby he was strong willed and determined and stubborn.
He pissed me off.
I was told he was just like his father was as a baby and I knew he was just like his Uncle Mike was as a baby. I wondered why I was the one being punished.
I often wondered in the first few months of my son's life, what the hell I had done, having a second child.
Now, he is five years old. Would I go back to the time he was a baby?
And Jeff will say the same.
But this, this time in his life, I want to freeze. I want this time to last forever. I don't want him to get any bigger, or taller or older. And I'll tell you why.
My son is in love with life. It's hard to put into words what I mean by that, but if you've met him, you know. He doesn't talk, he exclaims. He doesn't smile, he radiates. He doesn't get excited, he is excitement personified. All the time. He doesn't learn, he absorbs. With his whole body, his whole head and his whole heart. He is charismatic. He charms. He convinces. He wins hearts.
And....he sleeps. Like a rock.
At this age, he loves to snuggle. He wakes up early to make sure he has time to come into our bed each morning and snuggle down between us. If I am already up he begs me to crawl back into bed so we can snuggle Even if I have just came home from bootcamp or just come out of the shower and have my wet hair wrapped up in a towel. He still expects it and convinces me that he needs it to start his day properly. Even if just for 5 minutes, that 5 minutes of closeness means the world to him and he is then happy to get up and head downstairs for breakfast. Other times he will ask to snuggle with me on the couch after supper. Or when he is upset about something.
Snuggling with Jack is not just lying in the same bed, it is lying close enough to him that he can tightly wrap both of his arms around your neck. Close enough so your noses are touching. So close that you can't see him properly. And don't you dare move because if you aren't that close then you aren't snuggling.
This being my second and final round at this age, I am cherishing it. Taking the time to snuggle even just for 5 minutes. Because someday soon, he will be too big and/or won't want to anymore.
I ask him what I will do when this happens. I ask him if he can stop growing so we can always snuggle.
He assures me that just like in "Love you Forever" I can come to his house when he moves out and snuggle with him then.
I tell him he won't want to snuggle with his mommy when he gets to be that big and he doesn't believe me.
I love this age.
My son is at the wonderful age where he wants to marry his mommy. He professes his love to me regularly and tells me I am "the best girl ever". Just because. I tell him he can't marry mommy and one day will marry someone else and he doesn't believe me. But listening to what I say, the other day he asked his after school teacher out on a date. He was specific enough to say they would be going to Crabby Joes and then would watch and play Rise of the Guardians. When we went to a hockey game this past weekend she was there too, sitting in the same row as us with her boyfriend, and Jack demanded that we all rearrange seats so he could sit between her and I. He persevered until he was successful and then beamed from ear to ear, so pleased with himself.
It's such a great age.
He reads, vorociously. He proudly declares his favourite colour to be pink. His most favourite supper food is lobster. He would live in pajamas if he could. He doesn't resist his older sister, her friends or his older female cousins' attempts to mother him.
He runs around the school yard holding the hands of his favourite male friends. He whispers to me that he is scared when in big crowds.
He believes, with his whole beautiful little heart, that no matter what it is, Mommy and Daddy will fix it and that a snuggle will make it all better.
Yes, the day he was born it was confirmed exactly what I was in for.
One look into those little blue eyes and I was in love.
His eyes are brown now, like mine are and each day when our noses are touching and he has his arms wrapped so tightly around my neck I issue a silent plea for time to slow down or stop altogether. I ask myself what the hell I will be getting myself into once this beautiful age passes.
But for now, I will simply be grateful for what I have, for who he is and for how much light he shines into this world.
I love this age.
4 hours ago